...since Lisa passed away.

3 months.

In the beginning when I would post about it I would say that it seems like just yesterday, but it also seems like an eternity ago.

That's changed slightly. It still seems like yesterday, but on the other end...it feels like about 3 months.

There is still this surreal quality to it, but that's at the edges.

I'm not going to tell you I've settled into the new normal or that I'm used to it, but I am (for lack of a better word)...adjusting.

Don't know whether to be happy, sad or neither at that.

My sister is staying with me for a few days and my family is coming tomorrow for the Memorial Day BBQ at my house. This is the first family event I'm hosting since Lisa passed away and as everyone has said, the "FIRSTS" are hard. I was originally going to go with some ambitious plans re: cooking. I was going to attempt the baked mac and cheese, homemade cole slaw, and a cheesecake in addition to the other stuff. My therapist cautioned me about going to far into "Lisa's space" as I'm not ready for that. And she was right, as the day got closer, I couldn't do it. So I bought the cole slaw (BOGO @ ACME), Mom's bringing the mac and cheese and someone else is bringing desserts. I was going to try, but my heart wasn't in it. And if I did try, I think I might have broken down. So tomorrow it just going to be burgers, dogs, smoked "Boston Butt" and smoked chicken on my plate.

Deck is clean(ish), kitchen's clean, need to clean the family room and downstairs bathroom.

Bulk of the food is prepped. I'm not, but I never am until the actual day.

But I am both looking forward to this an intimidated by the whole thing. But it should be fine. But there may be tears.

In other news...

Set off the house alarm by accident and never got the call from the alarm company. So the result was police showing up at the house. Not embarrassed. Sh*t happens. But one of the cops that arrived was one of the cops that responded to the 911 call for Lisa 12 weeks ago. Given the day...that was a bit...jarring.

Also, I may have screwed up and got myself a camera ticket. May not have stopped long enough for a right on red. Not sure, but since I have a tendency to get ahead of myself, so I'll feel like crap until I get a ticket in the mail or 90 days or so.

Anyway, more to do. Talk later.

Peace,
- O.

Them: "Oh, you don't drink? Will it offend you if I do?"

Me: "I'm not the boss of you."

Weigh in: 185.4

Tantalizingly close. I want to hit 184.4 in two days. Could be possible, might be a tall order. We'll see.

Squashed squirrel, flattened bullfrog, splattered snapping turtle.  Of the three, I only regret the turtle.  Snappers are cute.*

Floral report:  phlox, oxeye daisies, lupines, and iris blooming.  Locust trees are starting in on their prey-stunning perfume.  Day lilies and buttercups in gay profusion.  And again, as every year, I misdoubt the wisdom of the horse-farm pasture full of those buttercups.

Warmed up into the 60s F, wind light and variable, so I slathered on the sunscreen and biked upriver and down the other side.  Got passed by another bicyclist that vanished over the horizon in a distressingly short period of time, but he is probably forty years younger than me . . .

26.77 miles, 2:10:17

*For warped-writer-of-dark-fantasy values of "cute."  And from a respectful distance.

Our friends foxfeather and mbala came for a short visit this weekend. We had promised that should they make it out to the southwest we'd take them to our favorite place in the world, Joshua Tree National Park.

The weather was perfect, though a little windy, but the sun was shining and some of the blooms on the cacti were still visible. I think they were really impressed by this unusual landscape and it was a joy to share it with them for their first time. skorzy played tour guide the whole time, explaining the history of places like the mines, park formation and why it has such large piles of boulders, Cap Rock and the fate of Gram Parsons, just to name a few.

We then meandered to my absolute favorite place in the park, Barker Dam. I love Barker Dam not just because it's a relatively easy walk that's partially shaded, but it offers amazing panoramic views that look like a matte panting, it's so unreal! It's the perfect tree to boulder to mountain ratio that if I were to paint an image of the park, I would pick that spot for its composition and color. We showed them the petroglyphs (that have, of course, been enhanced and fabricated by Hollywood like everything else in this state, heh), birded a bit (saw some western tanagers and Gambel's quail!), various plants and bushes (cheese bush! Which smells nice but sadly not as cheesy as I would have liked). Eventually we all made our way to the dam itself, which regrettably had dried up due to our unusually dry winter, but the view was still just as spectacular and the remaining moisture left the air pleasantly cool.

skorzy and I always hit up Barker Dam on our trips just to sit and enjoy the silence and the views, it's been a place that has been "us" since we first started going to the park together. I'm sure this is why he felt it only fitting that this be the place where he got down on one knee and said "Nicole, will you marry me?"



Unable to take in that this moment was actually happening, I somehow was able to come out from my out-of-body experience long enough to happily squeak "of course!" and a lot of other words I cannot mention in polite company, but being in my favorite place with my favorite person in the world with two of my closest friends to witness it, it couldn't have been any more perfect! They all also caught me completely off guard, I didn't suspect a thing! They'd all been planning this unbeknownst to me XD

A couple of funny things leading up to it though, when we were getting ready to go to J-Tree, I was putting makeup on. skorzy saw me getting all dolled up and thought "oh crap, she suspects! She's trying to make herself look good for pictures!" Nope. I just thought it might be nice to have some eyeliner on, completely innocent!

As we were driving to the park we passed a bed and breakfast that I saw online that looked really gorgeous. I mentioned "And they do weddings!" and mbala got super quiet. I had thought that maybe he either didn't care or that he was confused that we had gotten engaged and hadn't yet told him and he was trying to piece that together..but no! He thought that I suspected and that was his "uh oh" silence! XD

But wow, I couldn't have asked for a better moment or a better man. I love you skorzy!

Everybody seems to be at cons, or on vacation, so I thought I'd play the Time Machine game.

Last night, went to see Avengers. Since there's no use talking about it without spoilers, here's the cut and the spoiler warning.
( Read more... )

http://www.cartoonlabs.com/comics/index.php?date=2012-05-27&show=sinfest

Sinfest
Tatsuya Ishida

According to the internet, it rises at 0455.  I can't think of any reason why I had to witness it, on a Sunday morning.

Air temperature 54 F, dew point 43, wind north about 5 mph, scattered high thin clouds.  A bike ride may occur.

Writing may also occur.  Have slogged along to the end of Chapter XXIX, in which the legend of the Lorelei pops up.  Al doesn't like Rhine Maidens.